What is Divorce Process Match?
A divorce process match recommends one of the standard process tiers (DIY uncontested, mediation, collaborative divorce, traditional attorney-led negotiation, or contested litigation) based on cooperation level, asset complexity, children, budget, and timeline. The recommendation guides which process tier is realistic; an attorney consult confirms whether it fits your specific situation and state.
The Formula
Best Match = (Cooperation) + (Asset Complexity) + (Children Involvement) + (Budget) + (Timeline)
Cooperation level is the heaviest signal; high conflict overrides asset simplicity because the process needs court structure regardless of how few assets are involved.
Worked Example
A respondent with moderate cooperation, standard household assets, two children with agreed parenting arrangements, $5,000-10,000 budget, willing to take 4-6 months.
- Cooperation: moderate
- Asset complexity: standard household
- Children: yes, parenting agreed
- Budget: $5,000-10,000
- Timeline: 4-6 months
📌 Strongest match is mediation, with collaborative divorce as a runner-up if mediation stalls on any specific issue. This is general information, not legal advice; a family attorney can confirm fit in your state.
Why This Matters
Process choice drives cost more than facts
Total divorce cost varies more by process tier (DIY $300-1,500 to litigation $50,000+) than by underlying asset complexity. Choosing the right tier early saves the largest dollar amounts.
Conflict, not assets, decides feasibility
Cooperative spouses with complex finances often succeed in mediation; high-conflict spouses with simple finances often need litigation. The lever is the relationship dynamic.
Children benefit from lower-conflict processes
American Psychological Association research consistently shows that parental conflict during divorce is the strongest predictor of negative child outcomes, more than the divorce itself. Mediation and collaborative processes reduce adversarial dynamics and produce co-parenting agreements with higher compliance rates than court-imposed orders.
Common Mistakes
❌ Starting in litigation when mediation could have worked
Litigation hardens positions and accelerates cost. Many cooperative couples save thousands by trying mediation first, with litigation available as a backup if mediation stalls.
❌ Starting DIY when complexity warrants attorney involvement
Complex assets (business interests, equity comp, retirement) or contested parenting are rarely DIY-friendly. A short consult clarifies whether DIY is realistic for your facts.
❌ Moving assets or changing beneficiaries before filing
Most states impose automatic temporary restraining orders on asset movement once a divorce is filed. Moving assets beforehand can be treated as dissipation by the court, resulting in penalties or unfavorable division. An attorney consultation before any financial moves is the safest path.
Industry Benchmarks
| Category | Good | Average | Poor |
|---|---|---|---|
| Typical DIY uncontested cost | $300-1,500 in fees and forms | Filing fees vary by state | Hidden complexity that DIY misses |
| Mediation typical total | $1,500-7,500 | $3,000-5,000 | Higher with multiple sessions or complex assets |
| Contested litigation total | Avoidable for most couples | $25,000-100,000 | Multi-year cases with experts |
Source: American Bar Association Family Law Section data and NerdWallet US divorce cost surveys
Benchmark data sourced from American Bar Association Family Law Section data and NerdWallet US divorce cost surveys.